Golf Observations
1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball
and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a
swimming pool..
~ George Brett
3. Actually, the only
time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do
that.
~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to
play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at
them.
~ Kevin Costner
6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers
for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the
American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he
came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis
9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest
can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the
clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two
different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of
the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's
almost a law.
~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my
prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's
recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf
today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf
ball.
~Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of
them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino
20. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come
up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino
