Shown below, is an actual letter
that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman.
The bank manager thought it amusing enough
to have it published
in the New York Times.
> > Dear Sir:
> > I am writing to thank you for
> > bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last
> > month.
> > By my calculations, three
> > nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and
> > arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it..
> > I refer, of course, to the
> > automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which,
> > I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
> > You are to be commended for seizing that
brief window of
> > opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty
> > for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
> > My thankfulness springs from the
> > manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant
> > financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your
> > telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am
> > confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless
> > entity which your bank has become.
> > From now on, I, like you, choose
> > only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
> > My mortgage and loan repayments
> > will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive
> > at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an
> > employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
> > Be aware that it is an OFFENSE
> > under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
> > Please find attached an Application Contact
which I require your
> > chosen employee to complete.
> > I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in
order that I know as
> > much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no
> > alternative.
> > Please note that all copies of his or her
medical history must be
> > countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of
> > financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be
> > accompanied by documented proof.
> > In due course, at MY convenience, I will
issue your employee with
> > a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
> > I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28
digits but, again, I
> > have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to
> > access my account balance on your phone bank service.
> > As they say, imitation is the
> > sincerest form of flattery.
> > Let me level the playing field even further.
> > When you call me, press buttons as
> > follows:
> > IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS
> > THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
> > #1. To make an appointment to see me
> > #2. To query a missing payment.
> > #3. To transfer the call to my
> > living room in case I am there.
> > #4 To transfer the call to my
> > bedroom in case I am sleeping.
> > #5. To transfer the call to my
> > toilet in case I am attending to nature.
> > #6.. To transfer the call to my
> > mobile phone if I am not at home.
> > #7. To leave a message on my
> > computer, a password to access my computer is required.
> > Password will be communicated to
> > you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
> > #8. To return to the main menu and to listen
to options 1 through
> > 7.
> > #9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.
> > The contact will then be put on
> > hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
> > #10. This is a second reminder to
> > press* for English.
> > While this may, on occasion,
> > involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of
> > the call.
> > Regrettably, but again following
> > your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the
> > setting up of this new arrangement.
> > May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly
less prosperous New
> > Year?
> > Your Humble Client
> > And remember: Don't make old People mad.
Keep in mind that "old"
> > just means we've lived longer than others and learned more than most.
> > We don't like being old in the
> > first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Because we know
> > the difference of when we're pissed off and pissed on...
Friday, June 29, 2012
If you can follow the logic of yesterday's decision about when a mandate is really a tax except when it isn't, then you are better than me. I hope you remember when the US was an economically vibrant country, because that is now all finished. We are going to be France. Soon. John Gault is in Brazil or India or Singapore.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
To say that Ken Rogoff and I think alike should cause him to quiver. And that is where the similarity ends. I forgot the link last time. Sorry.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ......'
Friday, June 15, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
How much would your auto insurance cost if it had unlimited liability coverage? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303506404577444410947791758.html?mod=ITP_pageone_1
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The SNAP/Food Stamp Program , administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever. Meanwhile, the National Park Service , administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed The Animals ." This is because the animals may grow dependent on handouts and not learn to take care of themselves. Thus endeth today’s lesson.... Remember in November.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
To achieve a real recovery, government policy should focus on individual incentives to work, produce and invest. Central here are tax rates and regulations, including especially clarity about future policies. In a successful policy package, the government would get its fiscal house in order and make meaningful long-term reforms to entitlement programs and the tax structure. The Obama administration seems to think that individual incentives and serious fiscal reforms are of no great importance and policy should emphasize Keynesian-style demand stimulus (public works, prolonged benefits) along with bits of industrial policy (loans and grants to "green" energy companies). This approach has failed for three years
Monday, June 4, 2012
The recall election is Tuesday. Illinois had a 50% increase in corporate taxes last year. Every dime went to fund public sector employee pensions. The taxpaying citizens are no longer willing to pay higher and higher sums to fund this madness. Detroit wants to turn off some of its street lights because it can't afford the electric bill. And you want national health care with a bill that was budget scored for ten years with a gimmick that should rightly insult your intelligence. I am very happy that North Carolina is one of only three states that constitutionally bans collective bargaining by government employees. Only 47 to go. http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20120603/APC06/306030035/George-Will-column-Progressives-fight-against-Walker-childish?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|FRONTPAGE|s